Monday, November 24, 2014


This morning there was a stirring inside and I  had to drag myself to work. But this was a perfect antedote to a Monday - good food,  good company and a whole lot of laughter. such a cheery bunch!

There was also little moments and meetings with various people at work which made me pause and think hey - this is actually pretty meaningful. p who thank you so wholeheartedly for that little time you spent with them. They might not remember who you are or what you did but at least I know that in that fifteen minutes or more - they had company, they were taking part in meaningful and beneficial activity. and they were happy not to be left lying there in bed for the entire time. and I guess - that's what I signed up for isn't it? (: 

so, it wasn't that bad a Monday after all. In the little moments, stop and ponder. stop and appreciate. stop and be content.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

suffering & the cross

Psalms 2
"I will tell of the decree: The LORD said to me," You are my Son; today I have begotten you. Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage and the ends of the earth your possession. You shall break them with a rod of iron and dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel."

Jesus. the cross. in revisiting Mark in my lectures it has brought to life the idea that the cross is central to the identity of Jesus. that Jesus as the son of God was only complete after His death. the concept of suffering rather than conventional greatness, the concept of being rejected. thats the cross redefined for me - its not just about taking our place, but its also about the unconventional King, the suffering Messiah. and when we are called to follow Him, this journey includes suffering. includes being rejected, misunderstood, loneliness, pain. there is joy in the greater picture, but we cannot overlook the suffering, the cross. "deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me."

similarly from today's sermon -  there is no need to defend ourselves, wait and let your actions speak for themselves. In the time of waiting, God can do something that we cannot do. wait on God, do not just wait for people or circumstances to change - and in that waiting, we are changed.

this is such a hard concept to grasp and internalise - when very often we feel the need to fight for our rights, that no one will protect us and we have to protect ourselves. that if we are easy pushovers, the world will take advantage of us. where do we draw the line? very often, i have to remind myself of this meekness, of this unconventional greatness. of the way Jesus came, lived and died.

but it can be all fluffy concepts and ideas if we do not apply it into situations and moments of our lives. & this is a lifelong learning journey.

never before have i waited for so long for something so uncertain. but i do not wish for time to fast forward, for i am not ready to make such big decisions. for now, i am happy where i am (: 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

someone is back (:

We delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses buy completes the enjoyment - that is why we are called to praise God

if god is for us, then he must be for himself. His ultimate goal is to preserve and display his infinite and awesome greatness worth, that is, his glory.

guess who is back!! 

the boyfriend aka chauffeur aka running buddy aka food buddy aka the best friend (: 

came back with a whole lot of goodies too!! yumtum

brunch @ strangers reunion before work. how awesome to be able to head to a cafe on a weekday where its quiet and chill (: 
sunday night with the nephews! children are really such bundles of joy - they bring such liveliness into our lives and are always the centre of attention! we have 3 little ones so far and 1 on the way - definitely more to come. four generations now! its interesting to see how the family grows and expands(: 
after our run! so glad to have him back to run with me - i have no motivation to run when he isnt around although i tried to still keep it up. although i am the ex-runner, it started dwindling over the years and after a while it was a constant struggle to put on my shoes and fit some exercise into my schedule. our first run together was 3 may (vesak day?) and i was struggling to finish 5km. in fact i insisted on doing exactly 5km (knowing macritchie well helped) and walked part of it. haha! ive come really far since then! 2 more weeks to my 2nd half marathon, the first being five years ago back in 2009, and im quite excited! 

so thankful that this week I'm on shift and we get to spend our mornings together since he is on time off from work (in a way), so its great timing (: 

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

i have decided.

that if i can, i will.
this is how i will plan, but my plans are in pencil. for the Lord directs my path and establishes my every step.

thankful for exciting times(: tough times, but its exciting. and with the Lord, this fascinates me. yay!

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

i am feeling kinda tired - i think brain tired?? came home wanting to do something productive but ... i just dissolved into bed. printed all that needs to be printed and off i go! well i get thursday off!! so excited for my first AL without reason. hahaha.. we all have 24 hours a day, and endless things to be done. need to prioritize and focus on the important!

persevere persevere my dear - only 4 more lessons to go. and practically all my assignments. but this was what i signed up for and what i am interested to learn so no complaints.

haven't heard from justin for two days now.. at all. woes of ldr. 5 more days! thankful though that at least i have something and someone to look forward to. ive come to realise that having someone to just lean on emotionally, physically after a long tiring day of work makes a truckload of difference.

indeed, life on earth is tough but it is not the ultimate. so all is good! goodnight everyone x

Sunday, November 9, 2014

when jesus was tempted

today's sermon was on pride.
humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less (and thinking of others more) - C.S. Lewis

when jesus was tempted, what he was tempted on was to use the power and authority to had to gain something. it suddenly dawned on me that - he could have. he could have turn the stone into bread, he could have conquered kingdoms, he could have showed the world how powerful he was. but he didnt. he chose the self-sacrificial love route. the route that displayed weakness in the eyes of the world. a fool, many would comment.

it just dawned on me again - how different this method is from some worldviews today. how very often we are told to fight for our rights, to protect ourselves, to show what we can do. that God has great plans for us, God will make us great, but in what way? To show our weakness, to display meekness, to choose not to display our power when we can. this was what we went through in our last mentoring sessions as well. at the end of the day, to know that we are fully satisfied in christ. we have nothing to lose, nothing to prove, nothing to hide. we truly do not stand to lose out. but we are afraid, i am afraid. many times i feel like i have to prove my worth, i have to show others what i can do. but no, that is not what Jesus taught or modelled.

we have nothing to prove...

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

on bible college

geek talk! hahahahaha really geeky. but powerful theologians engaged in ?healthy debate. haha just funny because this is similar to what we have to present on in class next week. gasp

honestly, its been an amazing experience going through the classes that ive been going through at BGST. im so, so thankful to be able to have this opportunity to study the bible & theology in this manner. it has just opened my eyes to an entirely new world, its like the bible come alive. i shy away from telling too many people about it because im afraid that people would associate it with being holy/knowing my bible really well which is far from the truth. there is so much i dont know and so much ive yet to learn and taking a course in this college only teaches you the principles. in order to know your bible well hours and hours have to spent reading it, meditating upon it, analysing it, piecing it together, memorising it. text by text. and i havent even read the entire bible yet. and some bits that ive read - ive no clue about it. 

and studying the bible in such an intense manner does not automatically equate to knowing God in the same intimate manner, and does not necessarily equate to godly, christ-like behaviour, or living a life worth of the Lord. 

but tonight, im simply in awe of how much the bible contains and how much one can glean from it. and how honestly, despite the fact that so many things point to human destruction and how things could never have worked out - it did, because God was always with us and God always had this plan of salvation and God just has it all worked out. 

just like how j&i could never have worked out (never - if you ask me in the two years we were not tog, i was really against it), we did. and i can only say that God is the author and source and perfector of our relationship. i sidetrack, but i am thankful despite the fact that j is away and we are barely talking because reception is terrible ): 

but just like how jesus is the author and perfector of our faith. just like how God has caused us to be born again to a living hope, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading. just like how He has called us his beloved children. He will keep us from now til forevermore.